The idea for Chakrubs had probably been brewing since I first discovered my own sexuality. Not that I was thinking about crystal pleasure products at nine years old, but even at that age I knew feeling shameful about my body and arousal wasn't right.
My earliest memories of learning about my sexual body are from when I was very, very young. I was born with a condition where the inner labia of my vagina were closed, and for six months I received treatment from doctors and my mother to keep me open. This was painful and embarrassing. I'd even repressed the memory until I started practicing with Chakrubs (part of the practice is to uncover repressed emotions in order to unlock energy flow). So discovering the pleasure in this area wasn't all pleasure.
Like most kids, it was clear to me that sexual pleasure was something I was required to hide, but I didn't understand why. I became very interested in sexuality. It was a topic I enjoyed discussing as a teenager, even more so than most teenagers. I wanted to understand more about this thing that felt so natural but for some reason was considered taboo. To this day I find it fascinating that mentioning sexuality creates such tension and discomfort in so many people.
in 2011, when I had the idea for Chakrubs, I made a decision to really go for it in terms of making it a reality. I was 23 and it was time for me to take control over my life and my happiness (I had stayed with the boyfriend to whom I lost my virginity to for six years, never truly feeling sexually satisfied or empowered). I felt that I was now old enough to start something amazing, that I could now be taken seriously.
My father is an inventor, my mother the CEO of the company that sells his invention globally. I'd had many business ideas of my own in the past, but I'd never followed through on any of them. Chakrubs, however, unfolded so naturally that I felt it was destiny. I was living in Los Angeles and hosting the creator of the web series Spirit Science, which is dedicated to teaching people about spirituality from a scientific perspective. He taught me a great deal about chakras and crystals. I was working at The Pleasure Chest, a sex toy shop, at the time as part of a kind of "removing shame" experiment. My coworkers were nonjudgmental, open, and accepting of others. It was a great experience and helped me in many ways. I spoke with many different people about their desires and fantasies and even medical needs.
One night, I tagged along with my house guest to the home of a woman with whom he intended to discuss some business venture as well as their respective spiritual philosophies. She showed us her collection of crystals, and when she produced one that was particularly phallic in shape, something "clicked" within me. I hadn't felt drawn to any of the items at the toy store, as many of them were made of plastic, were battery-powered, and created by men. The molecular structures of crystals, on the other hand, are so perfect that they vibrate at, and emit, very strong, very harmonious, very healthy frequencies. Combining those frequencies with a person's own sexual energy might not only increase pleasure, but might also help facilitate personal awareness and growth.
The name came to me almost instantly. I actually shouted it out that night, spontaneously, in the midst of this meeting of spiritual minds. I'll never forget how everyone turned and looked at me, their eyebrows raised in shock and mild reproof. The fact that even people so dedicated to self-nurture and open-mindedness had such hang-ups about sexuality was yet another sign that the world needed Chakrubs. It simply didn't make sense to me that this aspect of the human condition—the ability to feel sexual pleasure—was something we should feel ashamed of.
As the days passed I spoke with many people about Chakrubs. These conversations were some of the best conversations I've had in my life. When you combine the topics of spirituality and sexuality, you really get to know people. I had researched to try to find anything like this - without much luck. There were some decorative phallic shaped crystals, but I could not find any company dedicated to providing pleasure products made out of actual crystals.
Shortly thereafter, I moved to Santa Cruz to work for a small, independent radio station. I lived in the middle of the Red Wood forest with other musicians. There I met an incredible group of women who taught me about compassionate communication and the power of womanhood. These women became my first focus group. One day we sat in a circle and drew our own designs, discussing which crystals we'd use and eventually testing out the first ever Chakrub.
I moved back to New York, started the company, and have been letting it unfold how it wants ever since. It is an entity of its own, with a mind of its own, and I am simply here to help it along its way. That it has been written about in New York Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, and other great publications—that it has been featured on Vice and was nominated this year for Sex Toy of the Year by Xbiz—is thrilling and humbling. But the greatest feeling I get is when I receive testimonials from people who say that Chakrubs has given them a safe and therapeutic space for pleasure.
I am currently working towards many more great things, including a brand new line, and look forward to a fruitful and exciting future filled with pleasure.